Desperate or smart? Is this a joke?
I might not be a pussy-magnet, although this kitty in Greece seemed to like me…
You might be thinking I’m really desperate for a girlfriend. If so, you’d be wrong. I’m just looking for the right person, like millions of other people.
I have been on Beauty and the Geek, tried Tinder and other dating apps and I’m still looking for a girlfriend, ideally before my mum tries to set me up with someone (and she has been trying)…
By making this website, I am removing a lot of the small-talk that goes along with dating apps. I hope it will save everyone’s time by providing a potential girlfriend with more info about myself and also what sort of person I’m looking for, hopefully to secure a suitable match :)
This is not a joke. I’m hoping to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.
For those who think this is tacky, ask yourself: Is it tacky to find your partner on a dating app, dating website, or at a bar? Some guys go to bars and go to girl after girl to try and find just 1 to talk to. And then find out that it’s not a good match (except for 1 night…).
This website is practical and it’s like a normal dating website but just for me and 1 lucky (I think) girl.
So your name is Brandon… What else can you tell me about yourself?
Me with a girl at a bar. She was a bitch.
Photo evidence that I have friends. Although this photo was taken about 6 months ago…
You’re probably thinking I’m a weirdo for even making this website… I’m only a bit weird, I promise! (Disclaimer: my friends may argue otherwise).
Believe it or not, I do actually have friends…
I’m a huge animal lover and I try to dedicate most of my life to helping animals. I also work full-time for a large pound.
I can be shy at first but after you get to know me, I start to make more ridiculous and inappropriate jokes that I laugh at (and sometimes other people laugh at as well).
I’m pretty chilled out, happy and honest. I don’t eat animals but I respect those who choose to. I enjoy going out and having some drinks, hanging out with friends, going on adventures and doing fun things.
I don’t currently have plans to have kids but in 5ish years I might want 1-2.
Work history
Animal Adoption Officer
My full-time job is to re-home animals and run the Foster Care Program at one of the biggest pounds in Australia.
Aug 2015 - Present
Crazy Dog Apps
I created and ran an app development company for a while…
Nov 2010 - Aug 2016
Speaker
Since 2013, I have presented in front of audiences including Westpac, The Australian Computer Society and more.
Volunteering
I believe it is important for everyone to volunteer their time and/or expertise to make the world a better place. I have outlined below some of the ways that I have helped out.
Raised over $7000 for puppies
In 2016, I raised over $7000 to save pups with parvovirus.
Animal Transporter
I regularly transport animals to rescue groups. Sometimes it’s nearby and other times it can be as far as Newcastle or Canberra.
TiE Women Create-A-Thon
In 2013 and 2014, I was a speaker & mentor for female entrepreneurs who wanted to turn their app ideas into apps/businesses.
PetRescue iPhone App
I played an important part in creating a free iPhone app to help Australians find a pet to adopt, and attracting over 50,000 downloads. (Unfortunately due to events beyond my control, the app is no longer available).
Žarkovica Animal Shelter
I helped to build a website for an animal shelter in Croatia with around 300 homeless dogs.
Homeless Connect 2015
I volunteered at Homeless Connect.
Testimonials
“He liked his work more than he liked me”
“He’s tolerable”
“If this stupid website doesn’t get Brandon a girlfriend, I don’t know what will.”
My ideal person to date?
Being single and female is a great start! You should also ideally:
Be around 20-28 years old
Live within roughly 70 min drive from North Shore in Sydney
Be an animal lover (I’m a bit suspicious of those people out there who don’t like animals)
Not be [too] crazy
Be honest, respectful, and fun
Bonus points if you’re vegetarian or vegan
Not be ridiculously jealous or controlling in a relationship
Fake people, backyard breeders and hunters - please don’t apply
Apply for a date with Brandon
Please provide as many details as possible to help determine if it may be a suitable match.
